By Pranathi Yannamani
Picture: BBC
Brown Girls Do It Too is a podcast on BBC sounds featuring two South Asian women, Rubina Pabani and Poppy Jay, candidly discussing sex, and the issues surrounding it.
With their guests, they talk about racial stereotypes in pornography, sexuality in the South Asian community, and dating outside of one’s race, among many other topics.
Although I’ve enjoyed all the episodes, a personal favourite is titled Sexpectations, where the presenters discuss their partners’ expectations of them in the bedroom. As South Asian women, we might be expected to be submissive and ‘never to make the first move’ as Pabani points out. This is supported by Said in his book, Orientalism, where he states that the Western conception is that Asian women are eager to be dominated[1], an idea that can be seen as representative of colonisation of the ‘East’ by the ‘West’. I found it fascinating that ideas rooted in colonialism are still very much prevalent today, with podcasts like this hopefully weeding them out.
In another episode, guest and cam girl, Alicia Sweets, embraces her Indian and Persian heritage. When asked about whether fetishisation of her based upon her race bothers her, she responded that she likes to embrace it and emphasise her brownness, because that is what makes her unique, especially in her industry. This is an interesting way to approach fetishisation, but perhaps as a sex worker, who is being sexually objectified anyway (and by choice), race can be a useful vehicle to capitalise on.
Racial diversity within pornography is another topic that frequently features in the podcast. Pabani states that the majority of the porn she watches features white actors, and notes that she hasn’t grown up seeing bodies such as hers being sexualised in the same way that white bodies are. Most mainstream pornography features white bodies, leading to the perception that they are more desirable, and bodies of other races are often categorised as such, and contain tag words related to stereotypes of that race. This may not seem problematic but placed into the context of the wider world, in which 51% of 11-to-13-year-olds have watched pornography[2], the effects are detrimental. Fetishisation reduces people of certain races to their stereotypical characteristics and ignores their personhood. Furthermore, the scenarios featured in ‘interracial porn’ realise frankly racist fantasies, thereby perpetuating racism and neo-colonialism. If these are the kinds of stories presented to our young people, how are we meant to truly stamp out racism and discrimination?
Surely white women are expected to be submissive to men as well though? And don't they suffer the perils of sexualisation just as much of women of colour? Yes, this is certainly true, but the discrepancy lies in the inherent desirability of women of different races. White women are simply seen to be more desirable. This is exemplified in the concept of cultural appropriation: ‘the Indian woman is othered by stripping the traditional symbols of femininity from her body and using them to intensify the appeal of the White woman.’[3] Cultural aspects that are not seen as remarkable in relation to Brown women, are suddenly celebrated in White women, such as nose rings and mehndi.
Furthermore, the inherent undesirability of South Asian women is reflected in how little they appear in mainstream media. Despite Asians making up 6.9% of the population as of 2011 (the 2021 census is likely to show an even larger proportion), their representation in film and television is measly, particularly as protagonists of their own storylines.
In discussion with my friends about writing this article and the representation of brown women in mainstream media, one of them stated that she was ‘struggling to think of any movies with a South Asian woman as the lead’, except for the 2002 film, Bend it Like Beckham, in which the British-Indian protagonist is portrayed as being oppressed by her Indian family’s culture and beliefs and is seen to be liberated by Western culture. The film concludes with her winning the ‘prize’ of the white man, who claims to understand her distress at being called a racial slur, because he is Irish.
When South Asian women are present, even in supporting roles, they are shown to be second choices, like in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; when Harry and Ron cannot find dates for the Yule Ball, they take the Indian twins, Parvati and Padma Patil. As characters, they are afterthoughts, and further portray brown women as undesirable and never the ‘obvious choice’.
My refusal (or failure, depending on who you are) to comply with stereotypes of South Asian women by being assertive and vocal, has resulted in comments such as ‘You’re only Indian in name and skin colour though’ from people I’ve dated, suggesting I don’t act ‘Indian’, whatever that means. I can’t help but feel as though the reason people tell me I seem mixed-race, or am a ‘coconut’, is because I am not the faceless, submissive brown woman traditionally presented in mainstream media, as none of us are.
Perhaps the assumption of the podcast, that sex is a taboo subject for South Asian women, perpetuates a stereotype that isn’t necessarily true. I certainly speak about sex very openly (in the appropriate settings of course), which, while an indication of my privilege, also shows that I don’t feel it is a taboo subject. Or maybe I do, but I talk about it anyway.
So, if you’re a brown girl who’s doing it and wants to talk about it, don’t be shy, let people know that you’re more than just a stereotype.
[1] Said, Edward W. Orientalism. New York: Pantheon Books, 1978. Print. [2] BBFC. Research into Children and Pornography. 2019. Available at: https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-us/news/children-see-pornography-as-young-as-seven-new-report-finds [3] Meenakshi Gigi Durham, Displaced Persons: Symbols of South Asian Femininity and the Returned Gaze in U.S. Media Culture, Communication Theory, Volume 11, Issue 2, 1 May 2001, Pages 201–217, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2885.2001.tb00239.x